>Alara's artist catalogue
>İs thİs an İntro?

What kind of art am I making? Am I yet making art? What is an art piece and what is not? I draw here and there, I made some animations and videos. I call them as experimentations. I tried out this and that. I learned to have fun. I experienced and explored enjoying myself. I daydream (imagine) a lot. Train to Amsterdam or a 30 min walk to get my money for the rent, laying on my bed or listening to the music. I create things in my head. It’s easy to do so. There is only one downside I discovered: I cannot share them. I enjoy them a lot and this might be enough. But the urge to make them tangible, share-able aroused in me. Why I love computers that much? (Especially laptops, they are so practical yet they become more powerful everyday that one can make 3D art with a notebook sized device) My most happy times from my childhood? Playing video games with my aunt. That overwhelming excitement of emotions I can experience. I can dream. I can share. I don’t play much games nowadays, I don’t have playstation here and I’m not very excited with the current games. I want to create…something like..not exactly…but not different…I was creating games, conceptualising them and sharing my ideas with my aunt, when I was little. I’m not little now: I’m 174 and more than 50 kgs…Ooh? That’s not what you mean with being “big”? Okay, maybe I am even more child now. Maybe I am a child NOW. Beans,,,I count beans…(How old AM I? Kathy M. Had a project about it. I don’t know, probably 4 or 5. I hope it is, I like how Chaelim uses the word “hope”.) I remember counting popcorns next to my first lover…I remember forgetting about her and diving into daydreams with the weird yet banal lights and colours of the cafe-bar. I remember everything turning into abstract, weird flowing shapes and structures and a game-like gezegen. (=planet in tr, I like the letters and their order better) I want to be inside of a game. (I don’t talk if we are in simulation or not bullshit, does it really matter, really? Say it is or it is not, I see nothing changed) My parents always pulled me down so my feet can stand on the ground. Yet, I felt the cold concrete with the tips of my child toes that looked like corn kernel; I saw no necessity for it. Do I remember that? Do I understand that fully? Why bare touching that boring cold just to please others? But then I have to define what is a game, right? You really want me to do that? I have no idea. I know I don’t talk about those commercial, boringly structured by the “rules” kind of games. Maybe I talk about creating experiences, but how I didn’t like that definition….maybe I talk about interactive art…but how it sounds cheap to me somehow…maybe I’ll see what I talk about the more I explore, the more I create.

maybe notes from my piles are better intros...